Lifestyle

The 10 best ways to end a relationship

It will never be easy to end a relationship, and many of us will do everything in our power to avoid having “the conversation.”
Do you always have to be the bad guy when ending a relationship, or are there any positive ways to do it?
Undoubtedly, it’s a minefield. The good news is that identifying strategies to lower your arsehole rating is not hard.

Here are the 10 dos and don’ts of ending a relationship in case you’re ready to jump but are unsure of how to do it.

1. Do have the dreaded conversation

Urgg, the most grown up and respectful of ways to end a relationship.
Unfortunately, despite the accessibility and ease of modern technology, having the courtesy to explain yourself to someone you’ve spent a significant amount of time with is undoubtedly the best way to walk away.
Be that person.

2. Don’t tailor the break-up so they leave you

Alternatively, without question, the most spineless way to break up with someone – the engineered reverse break-up is the favourite go to for all seasoned arseholes.
For those who have never been on the receiving end, it basically means your boyfriend increases his existing dick-ish-ness to such levels you have no option but to walk away.
Brutal, but depressingly common.

Romantic young couple, relationship breakup
The 10 best ways to end a relationship

3. Don’t just disappear

Or, as it’s known today, ghosting.
Because, apparently, many people feel that literally disappearing into thin air and erasing all trace of yourself from a person’s life without explanation is acceptable.

4. Don’t (ish) send a text

It’s quick, it’s easy (for you) and it makes you feel like you’ve wrapped things up in an acceptable way.
It’s spineless, but it’s marginally less spineless than the above.

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5. Do be honest

And *never* say it’s not you, it’s me.
Because let’s face it, when he’d rather move back in with his parents than spend another minute in your company – it’s definitely you.

6. Don’t involve other people

The fact you’ve been shagging you colleague for the last 7 months and plan to move in together four days after you’ve dumped your girlfriend is, categorically, not information she needs right now.
Fine tune your filter.

7. Don’t suggest staying friends

It is only the very rarest of situations that people can be friends immediately after a break-up.
I can pretty safely guarantee, yours is not one of them.
Suggesting you stay friends either means you’ll be giving the dumpee fresh hope of a reunion or you’re keeping them on the back burner for a booty call – neither of which are conducive to a clean break up.

8. Do be decisive

You’re either in or out mate, this is not the hooky-kooky.

9. Do let them be angry

And use colourful language in the middle of the pub.
Should you want to avoid this situation, don’t dump them in a pub.

10. Don’t initiate one last shag

Because as dramatic/tempting/easy as a goodbye shag is, it is also possibly the biggest dick-move there is.
And no, the dumpee pleading for you to stay the night does not make it ok.

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