Reasons why people find it difficult to leave their abusive partner

1. Why some people stay in an abusive relationship?

People who have never been in a toxic relationship might find it difficult to understand what makes others stay in an abusive relationship and suffer for no reason. Well, sometimes breaking ties with a toxic partner might seem the easiest thing to do but the reality might be much more complicated. Here are a few reasons why people find it difficult to leave their abusive partner in a relationship.

2. What expert suggests

We asked leading Counselling Psychologist Rachana Awatramani what makes people stay in an unhealthy relationship, she opined “There could be several reasons that makes people suffer in an abusive relationship including what kind of relationships the victim observed during his or her childhood and the pressure to adhere to societal norms. I once had a case where the victim had become comfortable with her toxic relationship. Her alcoholic husband used to beat her every night and she accepted the situation thinking it is normal. But when he stopped, she started doubting he has an affair, which was not the case.”

3. The wrong expectation

They say it right—love is blind! Sometimes, people continue being in a toxic relationship hoping their partner would change one day. They tend to overlook the flaws of their lover or put the blame on tough times or anything else and fail to understand one can never change the basic traits of a person.

Reasons why people find it difficult to leave their abusive partner

4. Financial constraints

In many situations, the victim is financially dependent on the abuser. The fear of not having enough money, security or a place to live, forces him or her to stay in a toxic relationship.

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5. The societal and family pressure

A section of our society still believes in the traditional stereotypes and expects a person or couple to stay together even if the damage done in the marriage is beyond repair. If not this, people are scared of being judged by friends and family, and feel embarrassed to confess their problem rather than boldly raise their voice.

6. Low self-esteem

Sometimes, emotional abuse takes a toll on a victim’s self-esteem and the person fears what would happen if he or she leaves the relationship. The situation becomes even more complicated if the couple has kids and the victim chooses to stay in the relationship to give them a ‘normal’ childhood.

7. Gaslighting

Abuse is not always physical. At times, the abusive partner blames the victim for their toxic behaviour or tricks them into believing they are responsible for every bad situation. In turn, the victim ends up believing they deserve to be abused because they are the one at fault.

8. The idea of a perfect relationship

Unfortunately, many people grow up witnessing or observing abuse in their home during their childhood and might not know what a healthy relationship looks like. Sometimes, people tend to treat any kind of abuse as ‘normal’ and not realise the threat or the seriousness of the situation.

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