Dating older women: 8 things you need to know

Has the adage “age is just a number” ever occurred to you? There is validity to the statement if you’re a younger man seeking to date an older woman. Cross-generational relationships are becoming more and more common, and there is a noticeable increase in the number of couples with significant age disparities. If a younger man does fall in love with an older lady, though, what can he expect?

These eight items are essential to be aware of.

1. Different lifestyles

When dating older women, it’s important to bear in mind that you may be at very different stages in your lives. You might still be establishing your career, living in shared accommodation, or saving up to go travelling. She, on the other hand, may already be settled, financially secure, maybe even a mother. This doesn’t apply to everyone, of course. But, if you are living a different lifestyle to the person you’re dating, it will likely lead to conflict. Try to establish what you’re both looking for from the relationship in the early days, so you can be sure you want the same things.

2. Family

If having a family is important to you, then this is something to consider when dating an older woman. She may already have children, which will bring its own challenges and rewards. A responsibility like children will restrict spontaneity and you won’t always be the priority in her life. Similarly, if you dream of having children of your own, a mature woman may not want to revisit that part of her life. Or you might need to move faster than you’d like to ensure the best chances of success. Think about what you want from a long-term relationship and check that your values are aligned.’

3. Sex

They don’t call them cougars for anything! Women reach their sexual peak later in life than men, so an older woman and younger man may find that they’re perfectly in sync sexually. Older women know what they want, so be prepared for her to tell you – relinquish control and go with it.

4. Strength

5. Social references

Having social references in common may sound like a small thing, but it can be surprisingly important. At eharmony, we know that shared values and personality traits are the things that really matter when it comes to being compatible long-term but interests do still play a part. People often use references from the past to express themselves in the present, so if you regularly struggle to understand them, it can prove very annoying.

6. Health

7. Flings

Not every mature woman is looking for a long-term relationship with a younger man. She may be just looking for a fling with someone carefree who isn’t looking for something serious either. If this sounds good to you, go for it. But if you’re looking for something a little more serious, make this clear from the outset. It’s best to be honest and avoid heartbreak further down the line.

8. Wisdom

An older woman will have learned from her experience and be wise to any tricks. She’s heard all the tired chat-up lines and stories, and can easily spot if you’re anything less than genuine. If your intentions for dating older women are sincere, you won’t have a problem. She’ll appreciate you for who you really are and be honest with you too.